It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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