you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
