what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
