after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
