You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize