im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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