New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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