dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
