Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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