I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
