He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
