she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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