Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
