This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
