he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
