i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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