at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
