I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
