and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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