You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
