youre lurking in front of me
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
