I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
