i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
