Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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