He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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