The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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