she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
