ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
