Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
