Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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