Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
