can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
