Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
