im gay
i know
yea but for you.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
