ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
