you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
