and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
