his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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