Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
