I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
