Acid is not a monday night drug
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
