how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
BRING THE BAGELS
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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