Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
