2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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