if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do vagina's smell?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
