so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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