summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
