I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
