he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Couch. On fire.
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