CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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