You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
How's work?
Spinning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
