just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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