I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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