your room smells of hookers.
And success
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
