You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize