Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
