Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's blow job season.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
