Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
