Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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