just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
