Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
