who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
