The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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