take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
